It's Party Time!

Mardi Gras is built (to varying degrees) on the principle of doing certain things (risque things!) and allowing oneself to engage in acts of debauchery (!) as permissive participatory personal privileges to prepare for Lent. Hmmm.... Whatever.

An alternative to hedonistic (not to mention unhealthy) behavior as a precursor to the Lenten season of penance is to decide, instead, to discipline oneself in a constructive manner, rather than a destructive one. Be willing to expose oneself to the roving camera in a state of spiritual sobreity over against being victimized by the hidden cameras intent to humiliate when foolishly caught in an embarassed stuperous moment. Perhaps a "Spirituality Gone Wild" video! Raise the veil of hyprocrisy for all to see. Call it confessional conversation with a conscience or within a caring community. Get it out of your system, sleep it off and move on.

The regrettable next morning is totally avoidable by the decisions made the night before. If it doesn't look good in the morning, it was not good the night before. If you don't want to look that way in the light of day, shun the activity in the shadows of night. Steer clear of the avenues leading to the arenas of potential disaster and frequent frequently the bastions of behavior worth writing home about.

Life is too short in the grand scheme of things. Each day can be wasted or savored. One need not be driven by perfection and sloppy piety should always be shunned. Simply welcome each day as a gift to be cherished and utilized to the glory for which it was intended. What wisdom is there in acting happy at night when feeling crappy in the morning is the sure guarantee. One's choice of festivity reveals one's true priorities. Party hearty!

Knowing One's Self

For so many years (and maybe they still are) the Army has chosen to spend taxpayers' money by using the phrase/tagline/brand "Be All That You Can Be" when seeking recruits. These six words seemed to be everywhere -- billboards, newsprint ads, television commercials, radio promos, etc. The jingle was catchy, brilliant, and ubiquitous. The marketing campaign was nothing short of genius. Is there anyone who would be against "being" all that you can be? The incredible, and not subtle at all, word association is that one can be "all you can be" by, yes, you got it, joining the Army.

A contradictious corollary is espoused from the world of psychology and its accompanying counselors that a key component to a healthy sense of self is to "Stop Trying To Be Something/Somebody You Aren't." This camp's proponents advise to acknowledge who you are, admit to strengths and weaknesses, create a baseline for one's gifts ("everyone has a gift" we are assured), set realistic goals and obviate when required. Such camp purrs to find a good support network and proceed to venture into a world waiting to welcome you.

Hmmm. Which is it? "Be All..." or "Stop Trying To Be..."? Are the two mutually exclusive or simply a clever way of saying virtually the same thing, but for different targeted groups? Confusion gestates. The impending showdown will command, indeed demand, addressing the matter of whether or not there is any common ground. Any chance for knowing one's self (and the implication in this post is that such knowledge is good and valuable) requires a foundation of learning what one is capable of being and what is outside the possibility of being.

The enormous need here is to distinguish and demarcate the unique difference between "being" and "doing." Being involves essence. Doing involves action. I, respectfully, suggest the Army is not concerned with who the recruit "is" as much as offering a challenge to "do" what is asked/commanded which may be more than the recruit ever thought possible. Again, with respect, I can only imagine there will be little tolerance given to the soldier who contends the sergeant's commands require action which would somehow require the soldier to be somebody he/she isn't. "Sir! You are asking me to be somebody I am not. Sir! It is not healthy to be somebody I am not! Sir! Please grant permission to not do what is asked because it is just not me.... Sir!" Talk about LOL.

To move this tome-like post along, what to do? Knowing one's self is never easy, because time changes us daily. Who we are today is not who were years ago, and who we are becoming will be different in years to come. What we are capable of doing changes over the years. Our desire to do certain things morphs with time. The key here, and it is only a first key on the keychain to begin this exploratory journey, is to go deep inside oneself and begin to uncover a sense of who you are. Essentially, who you are is bedrock for learning self worth. Potentially, who you are initiates the journey seeking discovery for capabilities (or lack thereof) for appreciating self worth.

The bottom line is that each person has essence, an amazing unique gift to everyone else. What one does with that gift and how it is shared with the gifts of others contributes to a community. What the community does with the cumulative gifts creates a composite for health or dysfunction. So the Army and the world of counseling are closer than appears in your rear image. Of course, a cynic would say this post has absolutely nothing to do with the Army and counseling and is nothing less than the worthless rambling of a blogger. Punk'd and convicted! Essentially, that's all I am. What can I say? In these few minutes every few days it's all I want to be. I don't even try to be anything else. Thanks for reading.

Distraction/Attraction

A wonderful conundrum is the matter of distraction and attraction. There is a powerful mystery surrounding what distracts us and what attracts us. In the midst of what we're doing, something invasive occurs and suddenly we become aware that energy is diverted elsewhere. Are we being distracted by an alien energy force or attracted seductively toward a siren of another energy type? Come to think of it, what's the real difference between distraction and attraction? Does the former connote negativity and the latter positivity? Why? Or are both neutral except in the eyes of the beholder?

Life is full of distractions and attractions. That's good. Otherwise, we would lead predictable, robotic lives -- desirable and typical of a machine, limiting and problematic for a human. The issue we should consider veering in the direction of is the responses we give to distractions and attractions. Both are inevitable, but both create an opportunity for a myopic reaction. If the tasks we center on demand the discipline of prescriptive completion and are critical for our success (however we define success), then caution should rule in processing distractions and attractions. Why? Because both have power to undermine the task.

On the other hand, if the task requires creativity and a desired openness to be available to new ideas, thoughts, directions, etc., then caution should rule in ignoring the distractions and attractions. Why? Because both have power to uncover the new discovery, critical for shedding the anchor of familiarity, which always threatens new venues.

Simply put, there is wisdom in assessing the distractions and attractions in our lives. There should be no blueprint for everyone to abide by. Rather, in the unique assembly of community, each of us, ideally, would have the arena to share and discuss the impact of distractions and attractions. Spiritually, believers could offer opinions and observations as to the prospect of God at work in one anothers' lives. Discipline can be good, but possibly constrictive. Lack of discipline can be bad, but potentially destructive. What are the routines in your life? And how do you react to the distractions and attractions? Conundrum or not, our answers reveal a lot about who we are and why behave the we do.

This post will, of course, distract some and attract others. Who cares? Well, that depends on which tract you traverse.

Goodbye Ugly, Hello Good

It's been shown that a significant part of one's personality makeup is strongly established by the time you are 19 years old. Before turning 20 people are set in patterns determined by family systems, education, health, economics, adolescent life experiences, joys and sorrows -- and all within the first twenty years of life. After that changes in one's opinions, attitudes, outlooks, etc., can be altered, but only with a high degree of intentionality and focus. With counseling and therapy even those traits firmly established can shift, but again only with strong commitment from the one wanting to change.

By the time one turns 30 years old, and 50 and 70, a lengthy pattern of behavior contributes to and even constitutes one's reputation. Students are labeled early in life as problematic and it becomes incredibly difficult for such students to shed the reputation. Sometimes perceived difficulty can be by association. Younger siblings pay a price for being related to an older brother or sister previously known to be "trouble." Of course, it works the other way. A saintly child passes on later unfair expectations toward a younger sibling. Adults are "surprised" and "disappointed" to not see the same halo that adorned the older brother or sister. Children with no siblings are often typed, for better or worse, on the reputations of parents and other family members.

This post is sympathetic to unfair portrayals and believes each person should be treated with unique respect. Nevertheless, in support of the above theory of early personality behavior being fairly established early in life, this post also wants to briefly acknowledge the need to be aware and forewarned that sometimes we simply need to deal with it. In basic terms, ugly is as ugly does and good begets good.

Ugly behavior is hard to stop in other people and it is hard to stop being ugly when you have been ugly most of your life. Correlatively, good people have an intrinsic good about them that can prove constant over the years. What's absolutely amazing and intriguing to people who want to understand people is the power some folks have to veil or mask their true personalities. This is where it gets very complicated.

There is a category of people who "seem" ugly or "appear" good when, in reality, it is all a facade. Dysfunction reigns at such times and chaos, inevitably, ensues. In certain systems (for example, the Church), collaborative work is impaired and, to be honest, it really doesn't get much worse. The devastation which results causes everyone to question the motives of everyone else. Factions become the norm and suspicions run rampant. "We/They" nomenclature rules and friendships, regardless of after how many years, are seriously jeopardized, if not irreparably damaged. Lies, deceit and slander become the tools of the trade and it becomes only a matter of time before once was is no longer. Once was a vital, healthy system (family, friendship, congregation) now goes rotten to the core. It never starts with the core, but, rather with the invasive agent (person, group, consultant) which the core tolerates too early and too long, it becomes only a matter of time before everything is spoiled.

No one party is totally guilty. There are caustic, corrosive agents in every camp. The question becomes what to do. The length of this post will cause a suspension on offering comprehensive thoughts. Perhaps you, the readers, could suggest strategy to avert the impending disaster. Satan and the demons on Evil's payroll wreak havoc among God's people, ugly and good. That much is something to which we can all agree. Now we must also agree to collegially and collectively corroborate our conviction that Satan is the problem, not our brothers and sisters in the faith. What then would follow is the shared proclamation that God has already defeated Satan and now it's time, in fact, way past time, that we start behaving with each other like we actually believe it.

Stop the lies. Stop the innuendo. Stop the bullying. Stop the harassment. Stop the abusive threats. Stop the attempts to intimidate. Stop the slanderous e-mails and letters. Stop the hate.

Start holding the caustic agents accountable. Start to get involved in the solution. Start behaving in a covenant of honesty. Start forgiving. Start praying like you've never prayed before.

Continue to love. Don't fear the worst. Expect the best. Veer away from ugly. Steer toward good. Become empowered to make a difference. Speak up and declare the time is ripe for a new day. These are trying times and they warrant our full attention. Choose a truly healthy system, not one only by name, and align yourself with a healthy community. They exist and will positively welcome you. Life is not to be sinfully wasted. Perhaps behaviorally we're locked in to the first twenty years of our life, but, spiritually, it's new day. A brand new day.

Birds of a Feather

Birds of a Feather flock together, so the saying goes. In other words, birds (and, of course, people; otherwise, the aforementioned saying would only interest ornithologists) tend to congregate and fly with birds of a homogeneous nature. It would follow then that birds of another feather tend to avoid each other, for any number of a variety of reasons.

As already hinted, people are rarely any different. People, again for any number of a variety of reasons, like to hang out with people like themselves. Similar tastes keep social situations safe, so much so that community seems threatened when peppered with differences of opinion. Another saying is that it's best to avoid discussing "religion and politics" when among friends. Are we really that fragile?

This post marks #40 since starting my blogspot a couple months ago. Although yours truly would like to think content is pertinent, for the most part respondents probably think topics and opinions expressed therein are rather benign. That's fair and warranted. I have no ulterior agenda to be controversial. My hope is to cultivate a cadre of readers who would appreciate and benefit from an exchange of ideas. To that extent I have failed, because readers' comments are rarely posted on the website. Instead, they come to me via e-mail, which is most appreciated. Thank you.

However, I have heard through the grapevine that one of my recent posts has created an adverse reaction in another reader. Assuming such information to be true, the first thing to come to mind is "hmmm.... only one post?" After 40 posts I'm hearing for the first time (and indirectly, at that) that someone is a little upset? My mind races to wonder if the topics are so tame that readers simply check in just to see "what's on my mind," as another reader has said.

Don't misunderstand. The purpose of this blogsite is not to intentionally confront and offend. On the other hand, I wonder if what has been cultivated is not a safe, civil forum to exchange ideas of a pertinent nature in which all may engage, but instead only a flock of homogeneous feathered readers who check in periodically for a few words of reflection. It is, of course, no coincidence that the recent post in question, "The Sate of The Onion," flew away from the familiar flock and flapped awkwardly in another flock of a political persuasion.

Personally, I believe there is a time and place for both. There is great value in settling in for some quality time with thoughts that look at topics and explore a new appproach to thinking about them. There is equally great value in subjecting oneself to the thoughts of another person, without fearing that relationships may be put in jeopardy. Certainly, humans can be a notch above birds in their respected tolerance for others of a different feather. New flocks wonderfully challenge our homogeneity. To accept less is, well, for the birds. Let birds, not people, be bird-brained. Better to flip the ... ooops, better be careful , I don't want to get in any more trouble ... for now.

Another Day, Another ...

Another Day, Another Dollar.... I Owe, I Owe, It's Off To Work I Go.... The One With The Most Toys Wins. Such actual bumper stickers pervade our world, and say wonders about who we are and what our priorities are.

Other pervasive odors imminent today are our awareness that we are an over-worked, deep-in-debt, selfish, depressed society. Maybe you personally don't fit the bill, but we as a society certainly do. And if we as a society do, then it will become increasingly difficult for you personally to not be eventually affected by this phenomena. In short, red flags everywhere.

This post does not pretend to have the ability to explore the paths sociologists take. This post does point to the belief that every day is a gift from God. Some days are wonderful gifts, while others tempt us to re-gift and return to Sender, address unknown, no such number, no such zone. Nevertheless, without the love of the Sender, we would not have what we have.

If we have another day, and only by God's grace we will, spending it primarily for another dollar seems rather tragic, if not pathetic. Another old saying is that we should not work for money, but have money work for us. These matters are not for the naive. Money management is critical, particularly, for better or worse, for those living in the Western world. We should learn from those who manage money wisely, as well as learn the lessons poor money managers have painfully experienced. Scripture says money/possessions/toys are not the problem. Rather the problem is what we do with "our" assets.

Spiritually, what we owe should never be in the context of a financial institution. Instead, the focus should center on what God has already gifted to us, and the hilarious, futile concept that we could ever repay our debt. The incredible Good News is that God does not expect payment on debt, but calls us into a relationship to be good stewards with all that we have. No doubt about it, much is expected from those to whom much is given, but God never requires from us more than we can give.

To understand God's grace and call to stewardship is a win/win for the believer. All that is necessary is already gifted to us, and the life we have left is all that is needed. The result? When we trust in God to provide all that we need, our days are built around all the opportunities we have, and not all that we selfishly/sinfully/foolishly think we need. Workshops are usually not built around the premise of being good stewards of God, trusting in divine grace. The popular money-making hawkers instead choose to gouge the gullible with shallow promises of huge dividends earned by what we can do, and fee paying participants are drawn like bees to honey. Only this honey seduces to a stinky substance which will never satisfy.

By God's grace you and I have another day. Let's use it wisely.

Prayer Life

Many years ago, in the midst of a stressful time in my life, a friend asked me, "How's your prayer life?" He might as well have been speaking a foreign language. I was a pastor. I prayed. I led others in prayer. People appreciated my prayers. I was "good" at praying.

My friend's question, however, addressed my prayer life. This was much more confrontational. My prayer portfolio was rich, well structured and earning large dividends. But my prayer life? I was forced to retreat and reflect before I could offer an honest answer.

The Gospel of Mark records in the first chapter that "In the morning, while it was still very dark, [Jesus] got up and went out to a deserted place, and there he prayed." This one sentence speaks volumes about one person's prayer life. Even two thousand years ago, in Galilee, the divine palm pilot was filled with healing, curing, casting out demons, and such, and if Jesus were going to have any chance at all of having a prayer life, it was going to require he make it a discipline.

This meant, for Jesus, that if he was going to find any time for prayer he was going to need to make an appointment with, and for, himself. Things get pretty hectic pretty early when you are God's Son and for Jesus to have any kind of prayer life at all, he had to get up while it was still very dark. And he had to get out to a place where he could, at least, improve his chances for some sacred time. Once up and once out, he had precious little time to pray. Why? Because Scripture says Simon and his companions "hunted" for him and exclaimed, "Everyone is searching for you."

Ah yes, the world wants more of that good stuff Jesus is doing -- more diseases cured, more demons cast out! What does Jesus do? Without using these exact words, he said, "Let's get outta here. I've got a busy day ahead of me and time is of the essence."

Jesus never had, and we will never have, the privilege of always having uninterrupted time at our disposal. People active in the world tend to be busy most of the time. The issue here is, in the midst of such business, how is your prayer life? What are you saying to God and what is God saying to you? Do you have to look up God's number or is God on your speed dial? Do you Google God or is God one of your favorites? Do you introduce yourself to God in prayer or pick up where you left off?

There are no prayer lobbyists. The practice of prayer is left to each and every person who prays. Find the time. Find the place. It won't be perfect, but it will define your prayer life. How is your prayer life?

www.oneinchristrockford.org

At the risk of being self-serving, I invite everyone to check out the One in Christ Church, Rockford, website: www.oneinchristrockford.org

This is the wonderful congregation I serve as pastor and this past Sunday we experimented in the world of podcasting. If you click on to the site and then on to "sermons" you will have the opportunity to listen in on the children's message and sermon from Sunday's worship service. It's a start and will be improved the more we learn to use the digital recorder system.

Check it out and let me know what you think. Your feedback would be most valuable!

Praying for Henry

Henry is a young person, a very young person. He is an infant and will complete his first year of life this month. It's difficult to say he will celebrate his first birthday, because Henry has had a rough life. How rough? Premature at birth with underdeveloped lungs and Down's syndrome for starters, in addition to surgeries, Henry has been frequently in and out of the hospital, usually in the emergency room and intensive care, throughout his first twelve months.

Superior quality of medical care and surrounded with the stalwart love of family and friends give Henry a fighting chance. Of course, Henry is not passive. He fights, literally, everyday for his life. The whole matter is so sad, so tragic, so frustrating, so unfair. Questions of why this is happening pile up each day and family structures are stressed to their max. It is inconceivable how the life of Henry (and all the others like him) will not permanently alter everyone who encounter him and his status in life.

Henry's grandmother is a member of the church where I serve as pastor. She has a heavy heart. She worries incessantly. Only people in similar situations can begin to understand the toll it takes on those who sit and wait for good news, any good word. As in every family system spirituality varies from individual to individual. It is no different in Henry's family. Among those who love him are people who believe in God and others who have a hard time believing in God. Henry's struggles aggravate those who question God. They tire at hearing from those who proclaim God's love. They seem convincing in their arguments that a loving God would not permit this to happen.

It gets more complicated. Praying people solicit prayers from other people. Praying people contend it works. Praying people believe God hears prayers and responds. Non-praying people wonder why it's not working in Henry's case. Even praying people, in their own prayers, pray to God pleading to have some sort of divine sign to show love to those in such great suffering. Praying people inform God that this would be a wonderful opportunity to show how powerful and loving God truly is. So praying people pray and they pray and they pray.

Praying people flounder in their conversations with unpraying people because the preached method for improving the situation seems a clear failure. Eventually, the faith of praying people is tested and praying people, with great guilt, begin to pray less. Conversation with the One gets put on hold until the praying people are convinced there is any reason to "keep praying." Surely the Tempter gloats at the confusion.

Last weekend Henry had an especially life threatening few days (again). Gathered at his cribside the vigilant caregivers were prepared to lose Henry. News spread throughout modern technology to keep everyone informed. Praying people prayed, and non-praying people did not pray, as everyone acknowledged the helplessness of it all. Hours became days and more hours became nights. Days and nights. Praying people lost their focus as to what it was they really were praying for (healing or peaceful death?) Non-praying people shared the same concerns.

Both sides, all sides, were united in the sense that there was no longer any control left to be exerted. Henry was alone in his fight. Those standing vigil were alone in their vigilance.

One morning the cardiologist summoned the family for a meeting. Henry had somehow survived the night and was actually improving. He was moving around and even kicking his legs, an incredibly good sign the doctor said. There was no explanation for the totally unexpected turnaround. The word "miracle" was not used, but the doctor said, "someone must be praying for this child."

Grandma wisely tells us that we are "not out of the woods." She also wants everyone to know that although she was about to give up on God, clearly God was not about to give up on her. She asked for prayers for Henry. I assured her we will pray. There was great comfort in her voice and heart in learning that people she knows and people she doesn't know will be praying for Henry. Pray for Henry.