The Sate of the Onion

Several years ago in New Orleans I had my first (and last) encounter with an hors d'oeuvre copyrighted with the name "Bloomin' Onion." I was in N'awlins for a continuing education event and my dinner partner was a parishioner who was studying at Tulane. She suggested the restaurant and the appetizer. As someone always up for a new experience I welcomed the culinary excursion and minutes later feasted on a cardiac nightmare which also haunted my taste buds for about 72 hours. I was guilty of the sate of a good thing. I learned my lesson with the sate of the onion -- what is cleverly marketed and placed into the willing community of participants gathered for a common cause can easily erode into something regretable if such community is vulnerable to the moment.

This evening we, the 'Mercan people, will have the opportunity to assemble around various forms of technology to dine on a State of the Union address. The menu will describe the address as unitive, but diners who have frequented this place before fear the menu may be misleading. Rather than addressing the Union and offering a presentation on what state the union is in, concern fllourishes that the dish served will create a heartburn that will be felt much longer than 72 hours. Rather than rallying the country around a leadership that is concerned about unifying the obvious, complex diversity of United States, speculation is that there will be significant lip service given to such unitive efforts, when in reality there will be a plea for support for what has already been decided.

A State of the Union address should include respect for varying points of view and a strategy for keeping the country unified. Of course, such a course seems romanticized and requires the wisdom of Solomon. Nevertheless, it is a more constructive approach than issuing a defense rationalizing a direction which, unfortunately, has become the unpleasant mantra of an administration which lays claim to holding the "right" way. The cracks in the foundation are showing glaringly when address after address the audience is patronized. When asked about the opinions recently polled pointing to a significant disagreement with the direction our country is heading, Bill Frist dismissed such an observation with comments assuring the audience the country's leaders will not see value in the results of polls at this time of the year. Hmmm....

The sate of the onion is back like a bad case of acid reflux when the State of the Union creates the same distaste. It is the state of an onion to behave in such a way. Otherwise, it wouldn't be an onion. It is not, however, the sate of a union address we need right now. What is needed is an honest assessment of how new information in the world continues to create new opportunities for a bold new direction. I'd take seconds on that address. If we only knew that new, new, new is substantive for better avenues of success. The old, old, old was better for then, but now is now. Stay tuned. On the safe side, it might be a good time to check your antacid supply.

Words

Recently, someone directed a comment to me, "You really like words, don't you?" Hmmm, I thought, am I to be comforted by such a statement, or am I to be confronted? Am I in the presence of a comforter or a confronter? Of course, such reflection immediately answered the inquirer's question. Words do interest me. Indeed, they fascinate me. Perhaps this is the blessing/curse of a preacher. As an artist sees colors, a sculptor shapes, a musician notes and harmony, a preacher sees words and thoughts constructed by those words.

I wish I had paid better attention to Mrs. Barnes, who taught me the "dead" language for three years back in high school. (BTW, do grade schools even teach Latin anymore?) If a person, preacher or not, can use language to clearly express thoughts and ideas, communication is enhanced. (A previous post addressed the paramount need for quality communication.) Confident use of language greatly improves the opportunity of the speaker/signer to be understood. Understanding one another creates a harbor for relationships. The inability to communicate well guarantees a battlefield of conflict.

A rich vocabulary can be drawn on as a painter considers the colors of the rainbow. How often have people who repair cars/appliances/equipment anguished, "I wish I had the right tool!" The best libraries have the book you're looking for or the knowledge to find it elsewhere.

The similarity of two words, comfort and confront, intrigues me. With an inadvertent stroke of the pen or keypad, a completely different meaning than intended may result. Comfort comes from the Latin confortare, which means to stengthen greatly, as in giving one strength and hope. Confront derives from the Latin confrontare, meaning to bound, as in how one bounds another in a challenge or encounter. All of this is TMI (too much information) for most readers, but that dear confrere is the prerogative of the blogger.

Honesty

What do you think of people who are honest? Not just people who tell the truth, but people who are not afraid to offer their honest opinion, regardless of how frank, riveting, blatant, or brutal it may be? I have pondered this off and on for many years. I must admit I am drawn to people who speak so honestly. I find them refreshing. Sure they sting sometimes and certainly say things I don't always want to hear. Nevertheless, I would rather be around such honesty than constantly be forced to cipher through the charades people play and the masks same people hide behind.

It is annoying to engage in conversation with people who require interpretation to determine what they really mean. Such controlling behavior detracts from honesty and lays a foundation for mistrust. Abusive may not be too strong a word for those who muck around the truth creating a near impossibility for honest discourse. Whether it be marriage partners, friendships, colleagues, neighbors, or peers -- you name it -- when you are not honest you are less than fair. You are less than fair and burdensome to others.

Honestly, I think honesty is a top commodity for deciding what is meaningful in life, certainly in creating quality relationships. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

Personal note: After a ten day hiatus from offering blog thoughts I wonder who cared. My stats counter indicates some of you checked daily for a new post. I apologize for the tedium in checking this blogspot only to find it not updated. What can I say? I resolve not to take such a break without notifying you next time. In a weird way the practice of blogging is similar to casting seed to the wind. The sower has precious little knowledge of where the seed settles and rarely learns whether or not the seed germinates. Thank you to those readers, particularly Scott, Wendy and JoAnn, who have offered comments in past weeks. The dialogue validates my time and efforts.

Inspiration + Initiative + Clarity + Strategy

Inspiration precedes intiative. Initiative implies clarity. Clarity demands strategy. Call it linear thinking or a circuitous journey, one leads to another.

The word "passion" and the phrase "the fire in your belly" have been in vogue for quite a while now. Both are ways of conveying inspiration. Inspiration is primal and you know it when you have it. It's natural and appreciates being affirmed.

Inspiration, when left unattended, becomes dormant. It never really goes away, just sort of dries like a desert plant. With rain (even in small amounts) the plant recovers and resumes growth, even in the most parched situations. Inspiration is like that. With affirmation from outside it becomes alive again. With generous affirmation it thrives. For it to blossom an intiative is required.

Initiative puts an engine under the hood. Initiative takes raw inspiration and empowers it. What is only thought now becomes possibility and potential later, but clarity will be needed.

Without clarity intiative becomes convoluted. Confusion often results and energy is diminished, perhaps lost altogether, creating again a dormant inspiration. Clear initiative is necessary for inspiration to take root.

Strategy is fertilized clear intiative. Strategy represents the arteries of all working matter. It's the stuff that will ultimately give inspiration its life blood.

Whether you are existing in a philosophical or religious world, a composite of the two, or perhaps another other world altogether, what is your passion (inspiration) to live the only life you have? What do you dream doing with such passion (initiative)? Are you sure (clarity)? Then give it the prominence it deserves and make it work (strategy)! It's worth it. You're worth it.

Personal Note

Beginning last month I entered the blog world. I have offered 30 posts since then and have thoroughly enjoyed the experience. I have a stat counter which allows me to gauge the quantity of interest in reading these blogs. That is helpful. What would be even more helpful for me now would be to hear from you. I would love to find out something about you and what keeps you reading a blog here every once in a while. Would you appreciate me addressing a new topic? Would you like more politics/religion/humor/social commentary? What's your critique of this blogsite so far? Are daily postings a good frequency, even necessary? Which posts attracted you the most? Did any bore or, perhaps, offend you? Thank you to those who have commented. I like the dialogue.

Don't hesitate to contact me at:

www.pastorjoemarek@aol.com


I'm going to take the weekend off and return with a post on Monday. Blessings to everyone, wherever life may find you.

Vanity

Approximately three thousand years ago a writer, known as "The Teacher," authored a book which made it into a canonical collection, now known as "The Holy Bible." This piece of wisdom literature is entitled "Ecclesiastes." It begins, in verse 2, "Vanity of vanities, says the Teacher, vanity of vanities! All is vanity." The message in this relatively brief twelve chapter book is to claim that a "life not centered on God is purposeless and meaningless."

Such a theme has evolved over the centuries to mean less about God and more about self. An older generation would refer to one's personal dressing table as the "vanity." Back in the 1970s Carly Simon penned and sang a song, "You're So Vain," ("...you probably think this song is about you,... don't you, don't you?") A new country song by Dwight Yoakum is "Blame the Vain." These three contemporary references to vanity show that vanity is not just a spiritual issue.

In fact, today's verbiage tends to be centered more on love, one's love partner, or possibly a social commentary on how centered we are on ourselves. Whether spiritual or secular, vanity connotes a negative behavioral trait, a trait no one (including the vain) wishes to have. To be vain involves conceit, foolishness, even futility (as in something is done "in vain.") Vanity can be an adjective for a page, or a fair, or a press. Personalized license plates are called "vanity plates."

The Teacher may have been right, "All is vanity." If that sounds too strong, perhaps there is agreement that "much" is vanity. In either instance, it would behoove us, as individuals and as a society, to steer away from such emptiness. Vanity confuses. Vanity is a charade. Vanity is smoke and mirrors in a world that clamors for authenticity and truth.

It is amazing how many vain people twist the simplest of comments to think that they (the comments) were intended for them. There must be a complex connection between vanity and paranoia. Both are irritants to healthy beings and systems. It is better to hold each other accountable to honesty and what "is," rather than what "appears." There is little value in the plumed nature of vanity, unless you're a peacock.

Wallets and Wilderness

A television commercial run quite a bit these days is paid for by a banking institution. In the commercial parents of teenagers are exploring their lost youth by doing things like downhill skiing and dryland snowmobiling. What's silly is the messes they get themselves in by trying to act young. The two teenage children are totally embarassed and with rolled eyes and grimaces, the boy says to the camera, "What's in your wallet?"

Not wanting to dignify Madison Avenue and marketing moguls anymore, let it suffice to say that what we do with our wallets (and the contents therein) reveals a lot about who we are and the values we hold. Our wallets (or purses or checkbooks) speak volumes about what is important to us. This post is clearly not an application of the television commercial, but there is something catchy about the tagline, "What's in your wallet?"

What it is that is in our wallets acknowledges a sort of power we have or, at least, we think we have. Spending power is a lure a capitalist society lifts on to the pedestal. This, in and of itself, is neither good nor bad. It just is. With more capital we are led to believe we have more options, which is true, but we also have more temptations. With more temptations we certainly are more vulnerable to decisions which may lead us into peril.

Vulnerability to peril is similar to the conditions one experiences in the wilderness. This is most certainly true in a literal way. However, it can be just as real and threatening in a spiritual manner. Spiritual people know all too well the fright of being lost in their faith issues. Scripture says it is like being where the wild beasts are. It could be assumed that the wilderness is something to be avoided, which would be understandable.

Nevertheless, there is great value in the wilderness. When we are separated from our comfort zones and safety nets (and our wallets?), our senses are heightened. We become aware of more. The stakes are high and our ability to contend with the wild beasts may result in our survival, or demise. Therefore, the wilderness can be, actually is, good and valuable, even necessary for strength and health.

Obviously, a community of caring people is needed to provide the support required for reflection and determining what the next steps will be. Ask yourself, what is in your wallet, and how does that dictate to you any of the important things in life. Then allow some time to ponder what is going on in your wilderness, and what you are learning. One will impact the other. Together they will play significantly into one's sense of happiness and content.

A Deeper Perseverance

Perseverance is always a hot topic, particularly around Type-A personalities, high achievers, success oriented people, and others who find motivation their modus operandi. Usually, the exhortation comes in the form of admonishing one another to keep on keeping on, staying the course, never giving up, because winners never quit and quitters never win. There are many among us who are indebted to the coaches in our lives. Without them we would not have accomplished all that we have. Thank you to those who spur us on.

There is, however, a deeper kind of perseverance. Although keeping on keeping on is noble in many circumstances, at times something more is required. Not allowing fatigue, disillusionment, distraction, and the like to deter us often means the difference between achieving our goals and falling short of them. This post is not directing the reader to be aware of the drawbacks of a no pain, no gain approach. Such advice has been around for sometime. One excellent swim coach has patented the revision to be no brain, no gain. This is most certainly true.

The purpose of this post is to lay on the table a still deeper perseverance. At one's deepest level (spiritual, emotional, you name it ...) is a primal yearning for answering a greater call. Deep within all of us, within you, possibly buried under the stuff of life, is a stratum base, identifiable only by you. Only you can do the necessary, deliberate work to discover, discern and claim that call. Most of us need significant people to assist us. This is an intimate, personal journey. Choose your travel partners wisely.

What you will discover at the heart of your very being is a value necessary for your existence. I discipline myself here to not be specific for fear of causing you to drift away from your unique existential destination. Take whatever time and effort needed to get in touch with that inner voice calling you to fullness. Share it with great discretion. Have it affirmed by those people who know you better than you know yourself. Then embark on a lifestyle that keeps that prominent part of you cultivated at all costs.

There will be times when you must quit, yes, actually quit something (which doesn't sound like persevering), because whatever it is that you are doing is detracting you from your inner call. The deeper perseverance to one's highest calling will lay the course for holding one's goal like a compass. Never give up is good encouragement. Better advice is to have the wisdom to know what is most important and to not only keep on keeping on, but quickly drop the baggage which painfully thwarts our best efforts. The fine tuning of one's pursuits in life will be the better for it.

The Integrity of Good Communication

Without good communication there is little chance.

Little chance, for what? Without good communication there is little chance for high quality relationships, for one. Whether it be friendships, collegial associates, marriage partners, or even general acquaintances, the need to communicate honestly and in good faith is enormous, should an opportunity for growth and advancement be desired. Recalling the last two posts here, constructive work is carried out when people "are" positive (and not pretending to be positive, which ultimately leads to negativity) and have clarity about what they "want" to happen for the good of the cause, rather than desiring something at the expense of another's demise.

Without good communication there is little chance for truly understanding your community. Good relationships with other people require a genuine sense of expressed care and concern. The suspicion of hidden agendas or "playing games" will certainly undermine the prospect of high quality realtionships. If nothing else it will delay the interaction necessary for successfully carrying out any task, regardless of importance and urgency.

Without good communication we endanger our own self-esteem, for we can become confused as to who we really are when we live with the many masks we wear. If others don't know who we are, how will we be able to present ourselves with sincerity and truth?

Should the reader begin to think this post is a recipe for foolproof behavior, stop it. There is no foolproof behavior. Such a prescription would be only, well, foolish. This post is an attempt to simplify and, possibly, tie up the last two posts. Realistically, to err is human. It's the nature of the beast of being a human being. Errors happen. Regrets result. Forgiveness is needed. Restoration is possible, indeed probable, when there is good communciation. There is great integrity in good communication with others, with your conscience, with your soul. Try it. You're worth it. You'll appreciate it. We all need it.

Wanting

There is a difference between wanting something to happen and wanting something to not happen. The difference is significant, though easy to understand, and says a lot about people. Ask yourself how often you use the word "want" and consider the context of your own use. When you want, how often are you desiring something to happen, and how often are you hoping something doesn't happen?

Albeit subtle, this post suggests people who want something to happen tend to be constructive, while people who want something not to happen lean toward destructive and, therefore, unhelpful behavior. The complex world of sports behavior and, particularly, the behavior of the sports fan(atic) serves as a good example.

There are several categories of sports fans, of which four are mentioned here. Specifically, Chicago is the home of two professional baseball teams the Cubs (in the National League) and the White Sox (in the American League.) Now before the Sox fans get a little crazy, the Cubs are mentioned first here only because they are the older of the two teams, providing rationale which is unnecessary for most people. I digress.

First, you have the category of Cubs supporters. Second, you have the WORLD CHAMPION White Sox ("world" meaning, of course, the United States plus one team playing out of Canada.) Two subcategories of Cubs supporters include those fans who also support, although to a lesser degree, the Sox and, on the other hand, those fans who hate the South Siders. The Sox have parallel subcategories, those who don't care if the Cubs win or lose, as long as they are not playing their beloved White Sox and, on the other hand, those who absolutely despise the North Siders and hope they lose every friggin' game.

If you're still reading this post, thank you. The end is soon.

There is great fun in being around people who are pulling for their team. It is not fun, in fact at times annoying, listening to people harp about how much they hope the other team loses. Last night's college football championship had a little flavor in this area. Not only were there USC and UT supporters, but also USC bashers and UT haters. The first two categories of fans keep a party constructive. The latter two breed a gathering about to go wrong. (Editorially, those who follow the New York Yankees and Notre Dame sports epitomize these distinctions.)

Victory is admirable. Prayer for demise is unhealthy, or, at least, just sort of goofy. Look at yourself and around your world, who's wanting what? Who's creating positive energy and who is seeing value in defeat? The difference, as stated earlier, is subtle, but important. Want (and work) for something to happen. Spend less precious energy hoping simply that something doesn't happen. The former produces constructive action. The latter leaves us, well, wanting.

Being Positive and Acting Positive

There is significant difference in being positive and acting positive. Both are preferable over being negative, with being positive better than only acting positive.

There are nuances to both positives. Early on someone acting positive may be just that -- acting. Acting positive, in and of itself, is a possible charade of what is really happening. Acting positive is attractive to us. We like being around people who seem (i.e., act) positive. Acting positive can serve as inspiration to those who feel less than positive. Acting positive can motivate to stay focused and persevere. Good things happen when we act positive.

The problem develops when in times of assessment we painfully begin to realize that more and more of the time there is little to be positive about. In such times those who are only acting positive begin to lose their effectiveness. Leaders believe that if they act positive, the rest of us will continue to support whatever it is we are supposed to be positive about. It works for awhile and then reality sets in. What we thought was positive becomes veiled in what is really going on. This type of deception can lead to chaos. If this occurs repeatedly over a period of time, leaders quit being leaders, and the masses search elsewhere for direction.

What is needed are leaders who can be positive and not just act positive. This is the distinction: in times of assessment there needs to be clarity about what is positive. There may be much or little to be positive about. What is critically paramount is that we begin to build on what is positive. Confidence will build when strategic work grows from what is positive into something even more positive. There is virtually nothing to be gained from trying to build on something thought to be positive when it is eventually discovered to be a pretense of positive. Rapidly, doubt becomes standard fare for people who question the integrity of their leaders' assessments.

Here's the clincher: There is something positive in everything. How this can be is too lengthy a subject for this post. Nevertheless, being positive while embedded in the negative will produce an optimum that acting positive can never achieve. What is needed is truth and not pretense, facts not fiction, analysis not make believe. Be positive about what there is to be positive about, and cease acting positive when there is precious little or nothing to be positive about. Integrity is at stake.

Revolutionary Resolutions

First, thank you for returning to this blogsite. I greatly enjoy our dialogue and hope to hear more from everybody. Let's work toward not just a happy, but meaningful new year.

Attempting to be punny in my last post I said I was braking for the holidays. I did and the break was valuable. I did a fairly good job of distancing myself from what I do most of the time with my time and energy. Of course, that resulted in me adding a few pounds ....

I want to start 2006 with a few thoughts about the ubiquitous efforts surrounding the making of resolutions. Much of what is said and written about resolving one's ways with a desire to improve whatever it is we are resolving to improve becomes nothing more than creating a prescriptive list of do's and don'ts. Also, nearly all of the resolutions seem to involve starting or stopping something. In other words, resolutions normally do not involve admonishing oneself to continue doing something or to continue refraining from doing something. Rather, resolutions want changed behavior, marching orders to ourselves to commence a new day when we initiate a new and improved identity.

This is revolutionary, because what we wish to happen would create change in who we are and how others see us. At this point, resolutions align very closely with repentance, an inner longing to turn away from and move in a new direction. This is good, for with successful resolutions and repentance we move closer to what our interiors know to be something better, something improved, something freeing and redeeming.

The danger is making unrealistic resolutions. The tempting allure of resolutions gives us a sense of power, an ability to change by fiat. Such seduction proves shallow early on when the resolutions fail and we realize such perceived power was only a facade for wishful thinking. The subsequent sense of failure cascades into a very real depression haunting us that maybe, just maybe, we will never be able to change, really change. This is unfortunate and, actually, unnecessary.

The error is not in and of itself repenting and making resolutions, but resolving unrealistically. This year back off on the need to become totally transformed and, instead, work (and it will take work) toward veering away from undesirable behavior with a realistic, steady steering toward a better self. Chip away the scales of unacceptable weight and move, as if your life depended on it, because in a sense it does, toward an attainable, fresh, recreated being. Rather than command change, allow change to evolve.

Don't try this alone. Enlist significant people in your life to help you in this metamorphosis. True friends will appreciate and honor being incorporated into what is important to you. Create dialogue with these friends and reciprocate. Positive community is birthed and that is revolutionary, the beginning of something worth living for. To paraphrase Henry Ford (I think), whether or not you believe it can happen, you're right.