Beware of The Need to Understand

This post will cut to the chase. One of the most annoying phrases du jour is "(Fill in the blank) needs to understand." It is not only annoying, but audaciously condescending. For example, "The American people need to understand...." When someone suggests someone else needs to understand, it closes the valuable opportunity for dialogue. One person is saying to the other(s), "I understand, now you need to understand." Or, to put it more strongly, "What you know is not as important as what I know, and because of what I know, you now need to understand."

Why not discuss what all of us know and then move toward agreement? Facts are unilateral, but decisions are best made when all parties are respected and spirited debate creates ownership of direction. This is never truer than in the most important decisions. In other words, the more important the decision to be made, the more tolerance we should have for open discussion and honest debate.

So, let's stop the goofy bullies who stop appropriate and necessary discussion because they declare that what they know/believe is what we need to understand. The ability to understand cannot be ordered and mandated. The willingness to understand cannot be the result of intimidation. To understand takes great work, mutual work on all sides. It's worth a try. It demands a try.